Provisional Interpretations

The Provisional Interpretation

If we can sink into the deep vulnerable places where we have stored values, beliefs and other definitions of ourselves, then we often find concepts that no longer fit with who we are or who we want to be in the future. These old conceptualizations can be viewed as Provisional Interpretations, or PI’s for brevity’s sake. From where we stand, more mature and wiser, these PI’s seem like negative constructs. In fact when they were created, they were the best explanations we could develop at the time to cope with traumatic events.

These provisional interpretations create split offs from our whole selves, they become stuck, frozen places that inhibit growth, they are the old scabs that won’t go away. These provisional interpretations become lividly defensive when we try to approach them and attempt to integrate or modify them in any way. After all, they have helped us survive for this long so why change?

Let’s take an example of how one of these provisional interpretations are create and follow back to how they can be integrated into a more functional self. Usually the PI’s are created very early in life, when we are struggling to understand who we are and how we can function with others and in the world.  For example, a child reaches out to a parent for love, but the parent is stressed by her own life events, perhaps she is working too much, she is having problems with her marriage, the parent strikes out at the child although the child is innocent of any wrong doing in that moment. This creates a dissonance within the child-I want love, I reached out and instead of getting love, a hug, some comforting words, I was hurt. I was harmed by someone I trusted and am deeply bonded with.

The PI will fall into one or all three categories: erroneous beliefs about self, others and the world (God, the universe, spirit, the One). The child immediately tries to understand the traumatic events by assuming one, two or of all of three beliefs: I am bad; other people are bad; the world is bad. Of course, each person will have their own unique set of PI’s which are tailored made for their situation.  For example the PI can be: I deserve to be harmed because I am unworthy. Or Men are untrustworthy and I must be careful in the future with all men. Or Life is unfair and things always go against me.

Beliefs cannot be destroyed or swept under the carpet like unwanted dirt. They must be transformed and integrated into the self with a larger, more inclusive and compassionate view. This work of integration is needed for most psychological problems: addictions, depression, anger and anxiety.

Try This

1.      One the most powerful strategies that I share with clients is the importance of the daily ritual for integration and well-being. This when you can take some time away from the busy world to look inwards. This can be over a cup of coffee in the morning, lighting a candle and expressing an intention for the day, praying in the evening. It is a time to sink into the deeper parts of ourselves as a way of rediscovering our true direction and reorienting to our life’s purpose and path.

2.      During the daily ritual, take some time to consider when you were triggered by some events from the previous day or days. Where are your thoughts going around in circles in an unresolved way, where are you obsessing about something and can’t seem to stop?

3.      Step back from these thoughts without letting them go entirely, you are going to consider them now with intention and wisdom. Are they in some way connected to a PI about yourself, others or the world?

4.      Most probably you will immediately be able to identify what these PI’s are. Write them down as you notice them- in the first person as simply, succinctly and intimately as possible. E.g. I hate my ex-spouse, he is selfish and inconsiderate.

5.      Now for the big leap, get ready! Bring the story home. To you. When did you first make up this PI? How can you transform it into a bigger story that is resolved and allows you to become more whole, free and joyful? You aren’t denying the events; you are integrating them in a more wholesome way into your being, life and relationships.

More next week on transforming PI’s.

I am available for free counselling until August 15 through Harmony Centre in Duncan. Please email me if you interested. These are hours which I need for accreditation.
Contact me at info@longboatcounselling.com