Spirituality through the life cycle

Human life can be divided into three major life stages. Just as in one day, there are activities which are conductive to certain times, so too in life there are times when certain life goals are more easily reached.

First there are the novice years, from birth until marriage. During this time the skills of survival, self awareness and inter personal communication are learned. In some countries today there is still the tradition that young people enter into a contemplative environment and take one to two years to live as clergy. During this time, essential skills such as mindfulness, emotional regulation, happiness training and stress management are taught. Sadly, as we have lost this tradition and these skills have gradually been eroded. The result is higher incidence of addictions, anxiety and depression in our young people.

The second phase of life is the house-holder years. This is a time filled with working for a living and functioning in complex social structures (family, community, national and international communities). During this phase, we are frequently caring for others-children and/or elders. These years are the most physically demanding and productive in the outward world by creating a home environment, community building and developing our egos into healthy resilient structures which will support us for the coming challenges.

Finally, the third phase of life is the wisdom years. This is the time that the householder releases a myriad of commitments to others and brings attention instead to universal questions of meaning, soul and connection with the god self within. The householder frequently downsizes her possessions, and releases home and personal relationship networks. The freed household  can then return to the contemplative life or go in search of spiritual teachers, experiences in the world and wisdom. Through spiritual pursuits, the elder seeks to know the foundations of our essential natures- calm abiding, sympathetic joy, compassion and love.

Unfortunately our post-modern world does not recognize the value of the elder years nor spiritual quests. Today, our values have become imbalanced and only the fruits of immediate, physical production are recognized. Also many religious structures have been dismissed because they had become corrupt, manipulative and drifted away from their mystical roots. However, we must be careful not to throw out the baby with the bath water.

Spiritual values are more relevant today than ever. Compassion, right action, and a vision of an interconnected whole are still valuable concepts which are worth living for. The spiritual quest is a pursuit for all stages of life as a foundation for well-being.

Try This:

1. Take a piece of paper and divide it into 3 parts across the page. At the top of the each section write these three life stages:

NOVICE

HOUSEHOLDER

ELDER

2. For each phase, write out either what you have learned or what you would like to learn in each section. Leave some space for each phase. Try to be specific and personal. Remember you can work at all three life stages where ever you are right now by either preparing for the future or by reviewing the past.

3. Now for each phase write out what you want to let go from each phase. For example in ELDER you may write “I want to release the fear of aging.”

4. Now take some time with your daily journal and write about how you will achieve these goals. Again be specific by capturing the essence of what you want. For example, in the NOVICE years you may write “I want to let go the family value of competitiveness which I learned as a child. I want to catch myself wherever I have thoughts of personal unworthiness and transform those thoughts by following back.”  ( This is a technique I teach in my workshops and counselling)”