The Tango of Soul

The Tango of Soul

There is a section of town which I walk through on the way to shops which almost always has one or two people begging on the side walk. I assume from the things which surround them that they are street people. Some days, I dig in my purse for spare change (an interesting term). Some days I feel that I have already given enough through other means. But always the sight of these people makes me feel uncomfortable and guilty.

As a spiritual counselor, I look to resolve these uncomfortable feelings and to understand my self and others better. When I consider this situation from the perspective of a spiritual counsellor then I see that the suffering of these people are the result of an unbalanced situation creating two opposites. In this case, we can call the two opposites:  victim and oppressor. Our economic, social and value systems create victims such as street people. The opposite or Other of these individuals are those who are given surfeit amounts of money, beyond any magnitude that could make them happy or fulfill any healthy natural needs.  

We can feel a great deal of sympathy for the victim. With a little empathy, we can put ourselves in their shoes. We can imagine what cold pavement feels like to sit or sleep on and  we can imagine the pain of  people walking past us despite our asking for help. The invisibility of poverty.

But it is harder to have empathy for the other side of this equation, the oppressor. The instigator of violence, whether political, economic or personal, also suffers. Sometimes the oppressor suffers more than the victim because the victim has the pain of his or her situation to act as incentive to change. The victim knows the truth of their injustice, it is immediate, they can feel it in their bones, muscles and heart. But the oppressor thinks they are justified and often is rewarded by our culture for their actions.

For our own liberation from both the guilt towards those who seem to be the victim and the anger or resentment towards who seem to be the oppressor, we need to pull back into a wider view. From a spiritual point of view there are no victims or oppressors-the victim always has choices which can liberate himself in some way, the oppressor can always choose to evolve, grow and develop compassion. With this attitude, the victim is released from a helpless position and the oppressor is released from the stuckness of his own beliefs and values. The oppressor will eventually see that first he must oppress himself before he can oppress others, and in this way change his ways.  

In a strange way, the dance between opposites always involves two corresponding neurosis. The victim needs the oppressor and the oppressor needs the victim. This is in no way to give permission to either party to carry on with this unconscious dance, which is often destructive and harmful to others. But we must understand who the two opposite dancers are and the kind of synergy that requires the Other to play the opposite. It always takes two to tango. Always- except in cases of children, vulnerable adults and elders.

It is difficult to understand sometimes how these two opposites can be resolved to become a greater third. We get caught in our own unconscious dances of guilt, sympathy, and hunger ghosts from the past. So any pair of opposites can and must be transformed into a consciousness which is greater than the two. A third which rises out of the conflict to resolve and to evolve to a greater state of being.

This transformation must start within ourselves before we can go out into the world and do the work of social justice. Einstein once said that “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

There is a great truth to this.

This season we are inspired to help others, to give generously, to be compassionate and loving. As you give, as you donate or put money into boxes or into envelopes, also in your mind, give compassion and understanding to those who have created these victims -the closed minded bureaucrat, the torturers of children and women, the greedy CEO’s, the environmental rapists, the rigid religious leaders and warriors-and also send them your prayers.

Only in this way can be extol ourselves to follow the teachings of the great teacher whose birthday we are approaching –to love others  as yourself. All of them even the ones you hate. The purpose of this practice is not to be nicey-nicey or avoid conflict but rather to liberate yourself from the tyranny of being caught in a conflict of opposites which can never be resolved with more pity, hatred, blaming, selfishness or aggression.

Try This!

1)  Think of one person that you feel is a victim of some injustice, betrayal or harm. Imagine yourself in their situation and allow yourself to feel and sense their suffering. Then invite within your heart, the natural arising of empathy. Send out healing and love to them, even if they are one individual or a whole country or the Earth herself.

2)  Now think of the oppressor in this situation. Again, imagine you are this person or organization and sharing their consciousness. What understanding and insights arise? How do they oppress themselves first? Send out your prayers to them also.

3)  Both of these opposites have positive and negative aspects and there is a potential, a yearning for constructive change. Ask yourself, what good qualities  does the victim have? What good qualities may the oppressor have? By looking at these two people in different ways, we are also examining the victim and oppressor within ourselves.

4)  Now visualize a resolution to arise between these two opposites. How can these two live in greater harmony? How can the good from both must be maintained, the negative transformed? Send out your prayers to create a situation and context which will dissolve the need for either opposite to exist.

5)  Pray and send out the aspiration that this resolution will manifest in the next year. Invite all the good spirits and guides who go with you to bring about this transformation.