Spring Fever

In ancient times, our ancestors recognized that spring is a time of great optimism and hope. However, it can also be a time of confusion, frustration and disappointment. Recently I’ve heard about three suicides, all in the past week this spring. I am also seeing more clients who are dealing, most painfully , not with their disappointment with what is, but the suffering that emerged from what isn’t.

Spring is a time of new beginnings and the earth is wakening from a long sleep of darkness and dreams. Within our cells rings the call to get outside, plant seeds and plan for the summer and harvest. This is the best time to put some aspirations into action. However, before we begin, it may be prudent to sink deep into our souls and ask the really hard questions about what we truly want.

By beginning with goals that are well constructed, we can set ourselves up for success and not failure. And of course, to plan for the worst case scenario, and not to focus on it, but to be prepared for what can happen if our aspirations don’t materialize exactly as we had hoped. I counsel many clients who feel spring is a sad time filled with memories of how their plans and goals were thwarted. So spring is also a time to heal all the times that life didn’t give us what we thought we wanted. Not to sugar coat these disappointments, which is a kind of insanity, but to accept these disappointments as part of who we are.

 I have failed in this endeavour and I am a greater person because of it.

Coping  with disappointment, more than any technique of World Metaphoric Transformation, ought to be considered in this sweet time of new beginnings. So that when the harvest comes in and we don’t get exactly what we had planned for, we can integrate the wisdom that is carried with this so called failure. Perhaps spring is a good time to remind ourselves that there is no failure-this is purely a human term for plans turning out differently from what our egos had constructed so something greater can be  given instead.

Grief and loss and one of the three most common issues that arise in counselling, so let’s prepare for this ahead of time. Let’s all agree that there is no such thing as failure and go forward from there! Loss is a doorway into a bigger container of wisdom. From loss and disappointment, we can form a new perspective and direction. Loss is opening into our personal salvation story.

I have survived this and now I can share how I coped with others.

Research has shown that when addicts had a salvation story, they were much more likely to recover and stay clean and sober . This is also the last step of any of the 12 Step programs-share what you know, inspire and give hope. This is also the last step of all the great teachers, Buddha, Christ, Mohamad , Diotima- all great souls who competed the last stage of their growth by service, teaching and sharing.

So as we arise to sow new seeds this spring, let’s remember that there is no failures. Turning  adversity into growth is the most essential step on our spiritual path to growth. This  transformational act in itself is the salvation of our souls.

Try This!

1.       Think about a disappointment in your life. E.g. My daughter won’t talk to me anymore.

2.       Simply sit with all the feelings that arise around this tragedy, but not to the point of feeling overwhelmed or swamped by the emotions. Just let the sorrow arise slightly and touch it lightly.

E.g. When I think about her I feel this hollowness in my heart.

3.       Now, remember a time that you didn’t feel disappointed, sad or full of grief. Touch that lightly. Just hold the preciousness of those feelings. Let them diffuse through your heart and body/mind. E.g. I remember a time when we went to the beach and we were so close, we played in the sand like two kids.

4.       Now return to your original thought of loss. Let the two emotional images come together in a new way. Let the positive feelings influence the sad ones. The positive emotions can lead the way to resolution and integration. E.g. I can remember the times when I was close to my daughter and hope that since those feelings were there once, maybe they can come again.

5.       Find the salvation story in your disappointment. What was given to you instead of what your ego had planned? E.g. If I can have that deep connection with my daughter, maybe I can develop that same kind of connection with someone else- a friend, another family member, someone who wants to communicate and be with me. That way I can let go of my daughter and allow her to go the way she has chosen without I getting bitter and sad. Maybe this can be incentive for me to reach out to some new people in my life.

Joy in the journey! In the miracle of rebirthing spring, of robins singing at dusk, of longer sunlit days,  the sweet scent of winter honeysuckle, yellow spontaneity of daffodils and forsythia, frogs croaking and ravens laughing.

We are all so  fortunate!