All knowledge is within. All knowledge is
without
Chapter One
Life
goals and lessons
River: Greetings!
Julia: Let the book begin!
River: Let the book begin. We are ready -the great
journey is upon us! We must first decide some sort of structure for this thing
that we built between us. We suggest a work that involves not only our work and
our direction and our wisdom from our perspective and our goals we also suggest
if it is becoming to you that you are involved from your own position as part
of your growth that you're part of the book is a writing of YOU!
We would suggest then that in this first week you return to
your own home and think carefully about five subjects that are directly
connected with what learning you have done till now in your lifetime. This
should be five short sentence is that capitalize succinctly, the truth of the
learning of your life.
It will not be easy. It is never easy to summarize one's own
life as at the point of death. But we want you, we require you, at your own
agreement of course, that you turn back your sight to the past and from this
point you record five short sentences that express your life and journey and
what you have learned.
Next week when we meet again, we will further direct you on
what to do with these topics. Is that clear?
Julia: Yes.
River: That is your work. And pleasure it will be for
you. You will discard many things as being worthless, and many things that you
discard, you will find to be very worthwhile.
In the long run it will have had no meaning at all. Sifting
through the past, you will finally come to the five. And when you return, we
will sift through these again. That is your work, and now we will speak from
our viewpoint. Our work.
We see each journey that we do together, each session, for
the next year (for that is how long the process will take), as a reference
point of learning. From that, in about as simple language that we can devise,
we will give you a view the world from our point of view.
In truth, it is not only our point of view. It is your point
of view also, from the agreements made in the in- between time, that you would
do this with us and that you and the River are one. The learning together is one,
the process is one.
It is as if you belong to a many faceted jewel, facing
outward and you have no awareness of the inner structure of the jewel behind
you which is the River, and beyond that, the Great Net of all being.
You belong to the Great Net of all being and also to the Great
Net within the Water Way, and by your work, you rise or lower this net. For the
purpose of this Net, is to raise the evolutionary awareness of all beings. We
will return to this subject later, for it is an important one, and one that is
of interest to you as part of the River.
It is also of interest in a more personal way, for you, for
those around us who are part of the River, and for those who will read this
book, who have reached agreements in the in between times to raise the
evolutionary rate and the vibrational rate of all within this great net. By
this contract, we are doing this
The vibration going out from us at this moment is affecting
many. The net is linked closely, tightly. It is as if we are a spider, each
little footstep rings a bell across the net so that all in some way
unconsciously are affected. The effects of these sessions spread out through
the world, throughout all time, throughout all space, for the many beings. Some
heavier than others, some lighter, some aware, some not aware. Some joyously
heading towards a release of their state of essence, and some at the very beginning
place, just spun out from the All. This is the effect of our sessions together.
Is it clear so far?
Julia: Yes.
Commentary
It was with much trepidation that I sat down with my journal
that week and began my first assignment.
How to proceed in a methodical way-I wondered? I decided to
format my life into seven-year sections according to age, activity and maturity
stage. Then from these stages of my life, I could distill the most important
lessons.
When I reflected on my years from twenty-one to twenty-eight,
I was ambushed with profound sadness and sudden weeping spells. I couldn’t
understand how those close to me had abandoned us when my first husband died
and left me a widow at twenty-three with no means to support myself or my son.
During that period of my life, I became a single parent
struggling without a supportive family structure or a career to give myself
financial security. Many times, I didn’t have enough food for both me and my
son, so I would fast until my next paycheck. I felt bereft, frozen and forced
into years of unsatisfactory work and grueling educational challenges. I was compelled
to give up my life plans and sacrifice my hopes and dreams at the altar of
survival.
I was close to tears
much of the time when I was working on my first assignment. Finally I decided to
see a counselor through the Unitarian church. With her help I was able to feel
the frustration and despair I had suppressed during those years. Afterall-
people who say they love you don’t abandon you when you need them…do they? Finally,
I was secure enough within myself to breakdown… and weep and weep. I didn’t
have to be the strong mother who had to push through every challenge just to
ensure the survival of myself and my son. I could acknowledge the selfish behaviour
of my family and my husband’s family then move on.
This process released deep feelings of frozen helplessness
that were lodged in my body and psyche. I forgave myself and stopped blaming
myself for the sufferings that my son and I had experienced. Gradually I
developed a bigger container to hold my life. I could let go of a habitual
victim place I had been residing in for much of my life up to then. But not
until I acknowledged the concealed suffering those years held. It took many
more years for me to completely forgive my family and my husband’s family for
abandoning us. And even today, I am severely triggered if I think I’m being
rejected, evicted or abandoned.
I continued on with distilling my life lessons. I wasn’t
satisfied with the technique of dividing my life into seven-year portions. I
developed a new strategy which was to simply pick out those lessons which were
closest to me in importance in my current life. I tried to discover those
lessons which were most deeply engraved on my soul. This seems to be a better
method than dividing my life by time periods and maturity phases.
I wrote out many sentences crossed them out again. Then I wrote
more, rejected those and finally in frustration leave my writing for another
day. Try it again. And again. Gradually I distilled five sentences I thought
were the best summary of my learnings so far. I took those sentences to my next
session with the River.
As usual, the River completely surprized me with their
response.
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