Death of a parent

 The next week when I met again with the River, a channeled fellowship whom I had been studying with as a student of spiritual self growth, to discuss my experiences with the death meditation which they had assigned the previous week. They had told me that I should start the Death Meditation by imagining the death of all my loved ones. (See previous post on the Death Meditation on my blog site https://longboatcounselling.blogspot.com/ )

Julia: Have I integrated the concept of death as you predicted I might do before my birthday? I only have a few days to go.

River: Having come from the All into the Water Way soul path, already you are the child archetype, the child has very little difficulty integrating life and death. But what the child finds difficult is the thought of the parent dying.

The parent within, or the adult within. In your case, it has never been a problem integrating death of the adult, but you have some balancing inner work to do with the parent guide within you.

We would suggest that you imagine a guide who represents a loving a parent for you. Then make a drawing of this parent guide. This will help you integrate the life and death issue inherent in the death of a parent. 

Remembering of course, in all things the opposites must be united into the paradoxical one. The work of death is the work of the whole, of Soul. Remember that death is nonexistent, it is only change in the wholeness of who you truly are. But we speak in constant riddles. 

According to this channeled fellowship, the River, all beings come into earthly life into one of three Soul paths, which they call The Three Great Ways. These soul paths are named after the basic elements of the environment- Earth, Water and Aire. They represent inner aspects of experience- Earth is the Doing or production path, Water is the wisdom path and Aire is the compassion, relational path. My book “The River Books, Book One- Three Soul Paths- Inner awakening to outer becoming can be purchased through Amazon at the link below.

https://www.amazon.com/-/he/Julia-Star-ebook/dp/B0GC9N9RCH

My soul path is the Water Way and its archetype is the wise child. For me, imagining and accepting the death of my parents, and especially my mother was the most difficult. I found this impossible to do. Imagining my own death was achieved after much effort but the results were well worth the effort.

At the time of this channeling, I didn’t think too much about integrating the experience of losing my parents. I was in my thirties, my parents were in good health. I simply didn’t consider the possibility of their passing.

The following week, I reflected on imagining my parent spiritual guide. I drew inspiration from my own mother for the illustration. I came to see that my parent spirit guide embodies the Air Way, or the Compassionate Soul Path. She is gentle, beautiful, and full of compassion. Whenever I need comfort or support, she is always there—ready to listen, to help me navigate life's challenges, and to offer guidance. She is emotionally attuned to me, genuinely interested in my well-being, and present whenever I require her. She understands my difficulties and assists me in becoming a better parent.

Of all the people I have lost in my life—I can honestly say that my mother’s death was the most devastating. My parents passed away within a year and a half of each other as they were deeply connected. I often sensed that my father felt I was somehow coming between them. I believe this is why he tended to keep his distance from me.

For years after my mother’s death, I was completely unravelled. I often dreamt of meeting both my mother and father—they were always together. My mother appeared in her skirt and jacket, wearing flat shoes and nylons, her hair carefully styled in a 1940s fashion. My father stood quietly behind her, always protective. Sometimes, my mother would tell me they weren’t supposed to be there, speaking with me or appearing in my dreams. Other times, she’d remind me that she had passed away. In my confusion, I would sometimes ask them whether they had died. Each time, I would break down, overcome with grief and loss, wailing like a banshee, my heart shattering as I collapsed, feeling as though I was dying myself.

Then during one of the last sessions I had with the River, they told me that my mother had reincarnated in the same valley where I had settled and that I had met her once. Astonished, I asked further questions about my mother's reincarnation, but all they could tell me was that she was a girl of about six years old.

After that information, I reviewed all my memories of meeting little girls. Then I remembered an extraordinary encounter. I was reading palms at the local farmers’ market. I was in my tent with the sides of the tent closed because I was with a client. Suddenly a little girl of about 5 or 6 years old, threw the front curtain open, stepped boldly inside and stared at me with a look much beyond her years. I was startled and paused the palm reading.

“What are you doing?” asked the little girl in a voice authoritative and a little scurrilous.

I was so shocked by her intrusion that I couldn't think of an answer. Her look was authoritative, ironically amused. Clearly this little girl was an old soul. Her mother grabbed her hand and pulled her away reluctantly from the opening of my tent. I continued the palm reading but the intrusion left me unsettled. She looked at me as though I should know what I was doing, and I should not be surprised by our meeting.

At my next meeting with the River, I asked directly if the little girl I had met was actually my mother reincarnated. Instead of providing a straightforward answer, they responded with more questions, wanting to know the girl's age, the circumstances of our encounter, and how we met. As usual, they did not answer directly but replied with another question in return.

"Perhaps that was your mother. How did you feel when this little girl entered your tent so unexpectedly?"

In that moment, I realized that my mother, with her characteristic flair, sense of drama, and humour, had found a way to meet me again. When the little girl asked, "What are you doing?" she already knew the answer—it was she who had taught me how to read palms. I often sat beside when she read for clients, learning the craft.

After that, the dreams of being overwhelmed with grief and sorrow ceased. I knew my mother was at peace. Everything was alright for her. I could now bless her and release her into her next life with gratitude and a sense of lightness.

Now, when I counsel individuals who are heartbroken by the loss of a loved one, and if this aligns with their beliefs, I sometimes suggest meeting with a medium. I encourage them to consider that their loved one has not vanished but has simply taken on a new form and remains present in the world in another way. Often, those who have passed may return—as a child, or as another being—bringing light and love to protect and watch over those they cared for in life. This idea can bring comfort and understanding, reminding us that life and death are immense mysteries we can accept and learn from, especially when we face the reality of death with courage and practices such as the Death Meditation.

As the River always ended their sessions- Joy in the journey.